After several coaching sessions with my new coach, it was time to write down and intentionally focus on a new, clear and inspiring vision for what I want for myself over the next 3 to 5 years (I mean isn't this what I talk to my clients about ALL.THE.TIME!?). I finally did that on Saturday, Sept 23rd. Not only did I write it down, I also recorded it and ever since then have been listening to it right after I meditate every morning and right before I go to bed at night.
After the first couple of days, I noticed things from my vision coming to me. I got a new coaching client and saw a lot more Tesla's on the road. I was pumped! I knew this meant I was opening up my Reticular Activating System (the filter or gatekeeper of our brains) and noticing new opportunities and things around me...the first step in creating life intentionally.
But after about a week and a half, things got REALLY uncomfortable. At first, I didn't connect all the crap that was happening in the outside world - our kids not sleeping well, a coaching client experiencing a trauma and needing to quit working with me, our newly finished backyard getting destroyed by sap, black fungus and rain, an ex-boyfriend harassing me via Facebook messenger, my debit card being hacked and money taken out of my checking account and generally just feeling drained and unmotivated - with having established a new vision for myself. But then, I read a Facebook post by a coach I admire (Susan Hyatt) about how a client of hers was holding herself back and running up against an "upper limit problem." I did my research, listened to Gay Hendrick's book The Big Leap (twice!) and realized that I too was suffering from an Upper Limit Problem.
The basic premise is, when we look to create something outside of our current paradigm or comfort zone, our subconscious mind does whatever it can to pull us back to where we are comfortable - this could be a physical illness, a crisis, overhwelm at work, or any myriad of ridiculous surprises. One time, the very day I got back from a 2-day leadership seminar, a huge tree limb fell off right in front of my office window. Sheesh. These days, general life busy-ness and my kids seem to be my biggest outer world obstacles that stop me when I start going for it (of course I love them any way : ) ). Another good example of upper limiting is lottery winners. The overwhelming majority of them end up completely broke in no time. Winning all that money at once is too much for their current money paradigm.
When we create something bigger than we've ever created before, we have to allow our mindset to expand, and know that we may experience the discomfort of things falling apart right in front of us as we stretch beyond our limits.
Think of this as adjusting your inner thermostat. It's been set at a certain temperature for most of your life (and the worst part is that you weren't even the one to set it - your parents, teachers, loved ones and life experiences did that for you subconsciously!) so when you attempt to change it's taxing on your system.
Have you ever noticed this in your life? Say you get a big promotion at work and then come down with laryngitis for your first big presentation, or after finally getting that brand new car you've always wanted, and a rock hits and cracks the windshield. Upper limit problem in action.
Want to learn more? Check out my Facebook live video below, this article from another one of my faves, Marie Forleo, or this quick video by Bob Proctor, who calls this dilemma The Terror Barrier.
P.S.: This topic has been such a BIG breakthrough for me that it ain't over yet. Be on the look out for more on upper limiting in the very near future in a conversation with my dear friend and fellow Upper Limit buster Betsy Pake.
I help people be true to their inner calling and lead the life they love.