I finally feel like I'm coming up for air after several weeks of frantic uncertainty.
It all started with my coach asking me to write out my 3-5 year vision, which led to an 'upper limit problem,' which led to feeling frazzled and disconnected, which led to my husband and the kids leaving town for a few days to allow me re-ground and center myself (I can't thank you enough for that honey!) and ultimately to a breakthrough - I CAN do this. Breathe. Most recently, I got to spend the weekend with my girlfriends, which was further opportunity to feel more like myself again.
Now that I'm on the other side of that breakdown/breakthrough and have a vision that I'm working towards, my mission is to enjoy the journey, which for me is an inner feeling of sustained joy.
The theme of sustained joy came up with my coach last week when I told him I notice that often when I feel a strong sense of inner peace and happiness, my ego (aka señora cranky pants) swoops in to tell me all the the things I should be worrying about (how my hair looks, if my kids are eating enough vegetables, if the dogs have had their flea meds this month, if I'm living my life on purpose or writing enough blogs blah blah blah). He looked me dead in the eyes and said something to the effect of "that's bullshit.'. My homework assignment is noticing when I take myself off the joy frequency. Though I'm aware enough to know what is happening cognitively in these moment, I'm not managing it well enough to change my emotional response. In other words, instead of noticing the chatter and letting it go, I engage in the dialogue and quickly lose the peace and happiness I was feeling just seconds before.
The idea of sustained joy came up again on my girls' trip last weekend. One of my beloveds said, "I feel happy now being here with all of you, but I want to know how to feel more of this in my everyday life." Yes - most of us are great with tidbits of circumstantial happiness, fleeting moments of positive emotions, but really not skilled at allowing joy to be the canvas of our lives instead of a paint stroke in time.
What I've discovered so far about sustained joy is that in order to cultivate it, we must be fully present as often as we can AND we must be really good at noticing and labeling our emotions. When we feel good, we can quietly say to ourselves, 'Ah, this is it! This is sustained joy.' When we feel not so good, we can also quietly say to ourselves, 'This doesn't feel good.' and instead of arguing with the emotion, we can allow it to wash through us with no resistance. When we stop resisting the negative emotion of the moment, we allow it to be there as a stroke on the canvas, nothing more, nothing less. We don't try to cover it up with the positivity, we acknowledge that it's there, but it's far from being the whole picture.
I invite you to allow yourself to be more fully immersed in the moment and notice your emotions and your energy. Practice allowing the negative emotions to flow through you with no resistance (you can even say to yourself 'let go' when that emotion arises), and really feel the positive moments just as they are too. Often allowing ourselves to feel positivity is more vulnerable and foreign than feeling bad so we immediately gloss over those moments waiting for the next crappy thing to interrupt our good feeling.
As you detach from 'needing' your life to be a certain way to feel good and cease the 'I'll be happy when..." chatter, sustained joy becomes a way of life, whether you're in the midst of a breakdown or a girls' weekend getaway.
Watch the video below for more.
I help people be true to their inner calling and lead the life they love.